Services for Birth Parents & Relatives

PAC-UK's specialist birth parent and relative support services include our First Family Service, face-to-face and telephone counselling, private intermediary services (for birth relatives of adults adopted as children) and support groups. Our National PAC-UK Advice Line can provide you with more information on services you can access in your region and associated fees where applicable.

National PAC-UK Advice Line: 0300 1800 090

advice line

Our telephone advice line is open Monday, Tuesday and Friday 10.00am-4.00pm, Wednesday and Thursday 10.00am-7.30pm (excluding bank holidays).

You can also email advice@pac-uk.org to request a call back.

We also have a dedicated FamilyConnect Advice Line available on 0300 1800 205 to support adult adoptees, their descendants and birth relatives who wish to reconnect with their relatives - this line is open each Monday 3.00pm to 6.00pm (excluding bank holidays), Tuesday 11.00am-2.00pm and Thursday 1.00pm to 7.00pm. You can also email familyconnect@pac-uk.org.

First Family Service

If your child no longer with you or is there a chance this may happen we offer free advice and support for birth mothers, fathers and relatives.

We know how traumatic losing a child can be. We know that you will always be family to your child and relatives. We aim to help you improve the outcome for any future children you may have.

Our First Family Service can:

  • Listen to your story and how you are feeling about your child’s adoption.
  • Explain the often confusing process of adoption and what that means for you and your child – now and in the future.
  • Help write a letterbox letter. Most people find the first one particularly difficult.
  • Help you to write a letter for your child or relative for when they are older explaining your story, what happened and how you feel about it.
  • Let you know how other parents like yourself feel and that you are not alone.
  • Meet with you in a convenient place and discuss what is most helpful to you. What you say is confidential.
  • We also run friendly in-person support groups in some areas and online support groups (we also have a First Family Facebook Group with over 180 members you can join).

This short video (6 mins) provides more information about our PAC-UK First Family Service.

Our First Family Service has its own Action Line that you can call and leave a message requesting a call back or text on 07975 846 249.

Alternatively, you can email firstfamily@pac-uk.org and we will respond to your request at the earliest possible opportunity.

Download our First Family Service leaflet for your region below and please also download this supplementary insert that contains letters from a birth father and birth mother who have accessed support from PAC-UK:

Birmingham | Leeds & North | London & South | Liverpool | North East | North West | Sunderland

Face-to-Face & Telephone Counselling

Counselling is likely to be short term (usually up to six sessions). The first session serves as an assessment allowing you and the counsellor to clarify your needs. Consideration will be given to a stated preference regarding gender and ethnicity of the counsellor.

Private Intermediary Service (for birth relatives of adults adopted as children)

We provide specialist advice, guidance, tracing and intermediary services to support everyone affected by adoption. If you are a birth relative who wishes to reconnect with someone lost to adoption our Private Intermediary Service can:

  1. Trace who you are trying to find and make the first contact on your behalf
  2. Negotiate an outcome that balances your needs and those of others involved
  3. Where contact is wanted, support all parties through the initial stages
  4. Offer specialist guidance throughout (our intermediaries have a wealth of experience in this complex area)
  5. Provide support where contact is not wanted and discuss ‘what next’

One of the key benefits of using a PAC-UK intermediary is the careful preparation that’s undertaken. Making an approach in this way shows your relative that you have their welfare in mind; our intermediary will provide support not just to you, but also to the person approached who may not feel able to confide in anyone else.

If you have been separated from a relative through adoption and would like to receive an intermediary service, please complete our expression of interest form or contact us (see dedicated number and mailbox below) for a discussion about your particular situation and for information about the costs of the service. You can also download our PAC-UK Private Intermediary Service Flyer.

On 3 April 2020 services delivered by Adoption Services for Adults (ASFA), including the management of the Norcap Contact Register (NCR) transferred to Family Action, and will now be delivered by PAC-UK. This means we can check the NCR for links on behalf of adult adoptees and their relatives. For all NCR enquiries email familyconnect@pac-uk.org or call our FamilyConnect Advice Line on 0300 1800 205 (opening hours listed above).

Please visit our Private Intermediary Service page for more information.

Support Groups

PAC-UK hosts a range of support groups for birth parents. All groups are informal, confidential and free of charge. For further information please call our confidential Advice Line (phone numbers listed above) or email advice@pac-uk.org.

'The forgotten voices of birth families' short-film

We premiered 'The forgotten voices of birth families’ at our 'Voices of birth parents: Loss, hope and change' event that took place on Wednesday 20 October 2021 during National Adoption Week. A huge thank you from all at PAC-UK to our incredible PAC-UK Birth Parent Group for sharing their stories.

'The missing piece' short-film

We premiered 'The missing piece - Messages for adoptive parents from birth parents’ at our ‘Film Launch: Messages from Adopted People and Birth Parents' event that took place on Tuesday 17 October 2023 during National Adoption Week. A huge thank you from PAC-UK to all participants for sharing their stories.

Trigger warning: This film contains references to suicidal thoughts, domestic violence, coercive control and mental health difficulties from the outset.

Service User Feedback

Birth Mother - "You feel like you’re the only one and when you’re in a group like this, you realise that you’re not."
Birth Mother - "The support I received helped me to understand my situation better and I now know more about adoption."
Birth Relative - "It’s helped me to come to terms with my granddaughter’s adoption."